Yuletide Spirit: Sharing the Joy: Time for #Funny - Cockney Rhyming #Christmas Comics

Thursday, December 22, 2016

Sharing the Joy: Time for #Funny - Cockney Rhyming #Christmas Comics

From the Happy2Move site:

HOW TO HAVE A COCKNEY RHYMING CHRISTMAS

Would you Christmas Eve it! The festive period is here again so we thought we’d show you how to have a proper cockney Christmas, explained in old East End cockney rhyming slang.

And because we at Happy2Move are legit Londoners, we can even throw in the non-cockney meanings in case you don’t know your apples and pears from your dog and bone.

On Christmas Eve...

On Christmas Day...

At Turkey Time...

While doing some epic digesting...

And inevitably...

Always in spirit...

1 comment:

LisaDecember 23, 2016 at 1:21 AM
Oh this is funny! I'd like to think I'll rememeber some to use later!
ReplyDelete
Replies

Add comment

Your comments are welcome and appreciated. Blessed Be.

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

I have always loved the holidays, which for me is Yuletide and Halloween (I love Thanksgiving too). I try to keep the spirit going year-round, with Christmas in July in the middle of summer. What I love the most about Christmas and Yuletide are the feelings of good will and peace, and the traditions, which are the message of the season. Keeping the spirit and celebrating Yuletide all year long is the goal. Oh, and don't forget Halloween. Click the Halloween button below to check out our page. I intend to share more Halloween elements going forward. I hope you enjoy your time here! I also blog at my main blog, True Book Addict. Just click the button below the Halloween button to visit.

Scrooge was better than his word. He did it all and infinitely more; and to Tiny Tim, who did not die, he was a second father. He became as good a friend, as good a master, and as good a man, as the good old city knew, or any other good old city, town, or borough, in the good old world.

Some people laughed to see the alteration in him, but he let them laugh, and little heeded them, for he was wise enough to know that nothing ever happens on this globe, for good, at which some people did not have their fill of laughter in the outset; and knowing that such as these would be blind anyway, he thought it quite as well that they should wrinkle up their eyes in grins, as have the malady in less attractive forms. His own heart laughed; and that was quite enough for him.

He had no further intercourse with Spirits, but lived upon the Total Abstinence Principle, ever afterward; and it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us! And so, as Tiny Tim observed, God Bless Us, Every One!

from A CHRISTMAS CAROL BY CHARLES DICKENS, 1812-1870

Christmas Morning

Jo was the first to wake in the gray dawn of Christmas morning. No stockings hung at the fireplace, and for a moment she felt as much disappointed as she did long ago, when her little sock fell down because it was so crammed with goodies. Then she remembered her mother's promise, and slipping her hand under her pillow, drew out a little crimson-covered book. She knew it very well, for it was that beautiful old story of the best life ever lived, and Jo felt that it was a true guide-book for any pilgrim going the long journey. She woke Meg with a "Merry Christmas," and bade her see what was under her pillow. A green-covered book appeared, with the same picture inside, and a few words written by their mother, which made their one present very precious in their eyes. Presently Beth and Amy woke, to rummage and find their little books also,--one dove-colored, the other blue; and all sat looking at and talking about them, while the east grew rosy with the coming day.
..
from LITTLE WOMEN BY Louisa May Alcott, 1832-1888

The Magi, as you know, were wise men--wonderfully wise men--who brought gifts to the Babe in the manger. They invented the art of giving Christmas presents. Being wise, their gifts were no doubt wise ones, possibly bearing the privilege of exchange in case of duplication. And here I have lamely related to you the uneventful chronicle of two foolish children in a flat who most unwisely sacrificed for each other the greatest treasures of their house. But in a last word to the wise of these days let it be said that of all who give gifts these two were the wisest. Of all who give and receive gifts, such as they are the wisest. Everywhere they are the wisest. They are the Magi.
..
from THE GIFT OF THE MAGI BY O. Henry

Home for Christmas

This is meeting time again. Home is the magnet. The winter land roars and hums with the eager speed of return journeys. The dark is noisy and bright with late-night arrivals--doors thrown open, running shadows on snow, open arms, kisses, voices and laughter, laughter at everything and nothing. Inarticulate, giddying and confused are those original minutes of being back again. The very familiarity of everything acts like shock. Contentment has to be drawn in slowly, steadyingly, in deep breaths--there is so much of it. We rely on home not to change, and it does not, wherefore we give thanks. Again Christmas: abiding point of return. Set apart by its mystery, mood and magic, the season seems in a way to stand outside time. All that is dear, that is lasting, renews its hold on us: we are home again....

from HOME FOR CHRISTMAS BY Elizabeth Bowen, 1899-1973

Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no! We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here! We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f***ing Kaye! And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse!

Clark W. Griswold in "CHRISTMAS VACATION"

Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaking suspision love actually is all around.

~Prime Minister (Hugh Grant) IN "LOVE ACTUALLY"

Christmas began being celebrated on December 25 in 336 A.D. In 350, Pope Julius I declared December 25 the official date, and, in 529, Emperor Justinian declared Christmas a civic holiday. The biblical Jesus was not actually born on December 25. His birth probably took place in the summer months because shepherds and their flocks (the Nativity story portrays that they were present at the birth) would not have been roaming the hills at night in the winter. The reason the Pope chose December 25 as the official date was an attempt to incorporate the winter solstice festivals important to the cultures of pre-Christian Europe and Asia. Christian leaders believed that the best way to get the pagans to accept Christianity was to include their most deep rooted traditions in to Christian worship and celebration. Here are some popular pagan traditions that still survive today:

The Yule Log--this tradition has very deep pagan roots. The massive logs were burned in winter ceremonies in celebration of the sun. The selection of the log was crucial and included much ceremony because the log started the celebration fires and would last for the duration of the winter festival. To justify this pagan ritual, the Christian church gave it a new significance, that the fire signified the light that came from Heaven when Christ was born. The log was lit on Christmas Eve and left burning throughout the twelve days of Christmas (see below for the tradition behind the twelve days of Xmas).

Greenery--evergreens were revered by pagan people because they could stay alive during the cold dark winters. Considered magical, greenery decorated the inside and outside of houses during the winter solstice festivals. Church officials again justified the continued use of greenery by saying it symbolized Christ, who in his triumph over death gave the gift of everlasting life to the world. The most common Christmas greenery in use today: holly, ivy, mistletoe, and, of course, the most revered Christmas tree.

Mistletoe--this Christmas greenery was actually worshiped in pagan times. Druids and Romans thought it sacred, for healing and as a charm against evil. It was considered a symbol of peace; warring soldiers who found themselves under mistletoe quickly put down weapons and made a temporary truce. Ancient Britons hung mistletoe in their doorways to keep evil away. Whoever entered the house safely were given a welcome kiss--thus the custom of kissing under the mistletoe!

Sitting under the mistletoe
(Pale green, fairy mistletoe)
One last candle burning low,
All the sleepy dancers gone,
Just one candle burning on,
Shadows lurking everywhere:
Someone came and kissed me there.

Tired I was; my head would go
Nodding under the mistletoe
(Pale green, fairy mistletoe)
No footsteps came, no voice, but only,
Just as I sat there, sleepy, lonely,
Stooped in the still and shadowy air,
Lips unseen--and kissed me there.

~Walter De La Mare, 1873-1956

The Origins of Santa Claus (St. Nicholas)--as a young man, became Bishop of Myra while still a teen, earned him the nickname of Boy Bishop. Bishop Nicholas, through courage and generosity, touched the lives of many people, saving many from famine and despair. He founded an orphanage and became known for his love of and wonderful relationship with children. He was imprisoned by the Roman Empire during a time of religious persecution. He was finally reprieved by Emperor Constantine who was developing a softer attitude toward Christianity. Nicholas died on December 6 in approximately 343 A.D. (This day is still celebrated as St. Nicholas's Day in many European countries) Nicholas was very popular throughout Christendom and he was named the patron saint of children, sailors, thieves, hobos, pawnbrokers, and bankers--and also Russia, Greece, and Sicily.

A Poem Suitable for the Season

The merry halls may jingle in the good, old-fashioned way; In merriment we mingle, with the music holding sway. The "Gloria in Excelsis" is sounding everywhere, But, really, 'tisn't Christmas, if Mother isn't there. She hangs a newer halo round the mistletoe on high; A spirit of bravado drew away the weary sigh-- For sorrow is no mistress, and life lets go its fear Amid the joys of Christmas, when Mother, dear, is here. The fire upon the hearthstone lights up with ruddier glow; The laughter is more mirthsome, bubbling forth in frolic flow; The Christ Child truly comes to us, in all His heavenly cheer, If the advent of old Christmas finds mother, also, here.

~William Hopkins ..

Item: Those Inconsiderate Last-Minute Shoppers

Way of women at Christmas puzzles a woman

Why not start list now (December 5) and do your Christmas giving sensibly, with regard to feelings of others, as well as for time, strength, and money? Leaving everything until last minute makes season harder for clerks and spoils holiday!

(Headline of an article in the December 5, 1926 Providence Journal urging procrastinating wives to show a little more thought during the holiday season. The article is accompanied by an illustration of an unnamed acquaintance of the author's who "used to dread Christmas and spent the whole holiday in bed, utterly spent, and with ice-bags at her head and feet.") ..

Item: Pearl Harbor brings a different kind of Christmas

While preparations are going on here, in a mild way to be sure, due to wartime conditions, our little British cousins across the seas have not been overlooked. Old Santa, that kindly bewhiskered man, will pay them a visit through the thoughtfulness of the relief agencies here...Of the many thousands (of) toys of various types and descriptions sent across the seas by Bundles for Britain, most of them are soft dolls and animals made from scraps of materials in the sewing looms...

(The New York Times, December 21, 1941)

Item: The Choice

If Western civilization dies in a rain of nuclear explosions, it will be written in a later day that the tragedy of our century was the inability of man to apply to the problems of peace the genius that loosed a most fearful Armageddon. "Peace on earth," the angels sang 2,000 years ago, but peace today is as tremulous as thin fog at dawn along the shore...Today is a day for happiness...but we shall end by trading that happiness for horror if we cannot recapture the humility, the simplicity, the understanding, the faith, the affection, and the lack of fear that marked the shepherds who saw His tiny fists wave in the lamplight of a stable at Bethlehem.

(From an editorial in the Providence Journal, December 25, 1957)

Item: The Immigrant's Puzzlement

Understanding Santa is troublesome for Laotians on their first American Yule

Khamehanh Chantharangsy was preparing about a dozen of his fellow Laotians for their first American Christmas...They had never heard of Santa Claus...Now that the refugees are in America, he said, "We try to do everything like American...." Khamchanh interpreted [for his friend Xiong Tong]: "He says it is quite strange, quite interesting but quite impossible for this man to penetrate the roof of his house with such a large sack of toys."

(From the Providence Journal, December 24, 1976)

Thursday, December 22, 2016

Sharing the Joy: Time for #Funny - Cockney Rhyming #Christmas Comics

1 comment:

Get new posts by email:

Blog button and header image attribution